I woke up at 3:30 this morning thinking about something that has plagued me lately; why can’t I stop thinking about makeup? To give you some context… Recently I decided to upgrade the makeup I own, there are only a few pieces I actually use and they all seem to make my eyes itch and/or burn. I went off on a search for cruelty free, vegan makeup that works well, and doesn’t make you want to pull out your eyeballs….
I want to be comfortable all the time. I want to feel safe and secure and unchallenged. I want to avoid feeling too hot or too cold, afraid or sad, hurt or vulnerable. I am very good at maintaining ‘equilibrium’, especially when David is there to provide me emotional security. But… I’ve never felt ‘comfortable’ during a stage of positive growth. I know that I need to learn to love and enjoy the process of change and growth. Right now,…
For years David and I have joked about our co-dependence, we sort of viewed it as a little issue that we would need to deal with down the road (a long way down the road). I never saw it as something that was holding us back or harming us. I have recently become aware (rather suddenly) that it is actually a serious problem. By engaging in co-dependence with David, I am holding myself back, I am holding David back, I’m…
Over time Aoife settled down and she didn’t frustrate and annoy me so much anymore, but I still regretted getting her. One day I had just given her a bath, when she went and found a half-rotten kangaroo leg. It smelled terrible! It suddenly all fell into place… dogs are meant to clean up dead animals. I was getting frustrated with Aoife for something she is supposed to do! I decided right then that I would find a new home…
As a teenager who was afraid of the people around her and who had been treated unkindly in primary school, I developed a facade that I thought protected me. I learned later that for years the other kids at my high school were sure that I was a cold, unfriendly bitch. I had been so afraid that they would be mean and make fun of me that I built up a wall around myself and the feelings I projected out…
When we were at a friend’s place recently David spotted something he didn’t recognise and asked “what is that?” The friend explained that the metal cone hanging up was used for stuffing a chook in upside down and cutting it’s head off. “Oh” said David. On the way home we talked about the stark contrast between killing a chook, plucking out it’s feathers, gutting it and chopping it up (all the while making sure that you are not introducing any…
We recently bought a puppy. She is an Irish wolfhound, the type of dog I have wanted since I was about 14 years old. We had tossed around the idea of getting a dog in the last 6 months, but every time we decided against it, because I was addicted to having company, it was a big commitment, or we weren’t sure that having an animal dependent on us was a loving choice. Two months ago though, when David searched…